


Mundane Gods

by JeckParadox



Series: The Mundane Lives of Gods [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M, Family, Feelings, Gen, Married Life, One Shot Collection, Peace, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeckParadox/pseuds/JeckParadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots based on various moments of peace for the different characters, occurring at various times in the series. Reflections on their daily lives, families, and future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Immortality

She remained outwardly stoic, as she usually did, but internally, the sight made her smile. 

Krillin and Marron were playing in the tides, practicing swimming. Her eyes slid to the side as she heard Roshi walk outside, and he laughed slightly at the sight. "They grow up so fast, eh?" He asked her jovially. 

"Yeah." She answered. 

The two watched them as they dived into the water, and then as they burst back out, Krillin exploding out of the water in a huge burst, Marron cheering at being splashed. 

The old man turned to 18 and grinned slyly. "Why don't you join them? I know you bought a new bathing suit the last time you were on the mainland." He ducked instinctively, but he couldn't match the cyborg's speed as she grabbed his ear and began twisting it slightly, bringing him to his knees and pleading uncle. 

"And how would you know that? It's inside my dresser, which, we are both aware, has been kept locked." She asked casually, still holding the old man's ear. 

"Ah-well, how that is, is, uh..." 

"I thought so." She said, flipping him over and looking back to her husband and daughter. "It better still be there when I check on it."

"It is, it is." Roshi said, getting back to his feet and brushing himself off as if nothing happened. It had become a routine, honestly. "But really, why not join them?" He asked honestly this time, instead of just getting a rise out of her. "It's not everyday you youngsters can have a day of fun in the sun like this."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why not?" She grew into a slight smirk. "We're decently rich, and if we do ever need money we can just compete in a small-time tournament or fighting ring somewhere. We're living on a rent-free private island-"

"About that-"

"rent-free private island-" She repeated, not even glancing at him as he sighed. "And even then, if we truly wanted to, we could do literally anything we wanted. _You_ could do literally anything you wanted. No police force or military in the world could stop you. The worst you would have to deal with is a scolding from your former students."

"Well, aren't you talkative today?" Roshi asked good-naturedly. "And I suppose what I mean is you're not going to have too much longer to spend with Marron like this, playing like kids. She's going to grow up, learn martial arts, move into her own life. Y'know? You've only got a few years with her."

She stared at the turtle hermit for a few seconds, surprised. "I suppose." She admitted. The two sat in silence for a while, Roshi eventually going back inside to get out a chair of his own. 

* * *

 

"Y'know, you sounded almost nostalgic, earlier today." 18 commented during dinner, the old man looking up and frowning. 

"What do you mean?"

Krillin looked up from his own meal, raising an eyebrow. 

"Did you ever have kids old man?" 18 asked. 

Roshi blinked in surprise, his eyebrows raising well above his sunglasses. Krillin nearly spit out his drink, while Marron gasped in shock. "Gran'pa has kids?"

"No, no." Roshi said, shaking his head, before hesitating and thinking a little harder. "None that I know about anyway. And sides' if I did, what would I do now? Meet up with their descendants? 'Hey, kids did you know the man who knocked up great-great-great grandma was a famous martial artist?' and then they'd say 'Neat!'. End of story." He began laughing as Krillin blushed slightly and sighed. 

"Language! Master, not in front of Marron!" Krilling chided.

"What'd I say?"

"Then what brought on your comment earlier?" 18 asked. 

Roshi shrugged. "I may never have _had_ kids in the past three centuries I've been kicking, but I've sure _raised_ a lot of them." He gestured to Krillin. "Like you, Yamcha, and Goku. And before that, Son Gohan and Ox King. And before them Tanton, and so on. The Turtle School is quite old you know, and most of my students start young." He grinned. "Yep, I've seen plenty of my kids grow old. I still keep in touch every few decades you know, with the ones whose family's remember me."

Krillin whistled. "You know, Master, sometimes I forget how old you are."

"Hey!" Roshi shouted. "I'm still in the top ten-... okay, maybe not, but top thirty, at least, strongest people on Earth!"

"I know, but, three hundred years?"

"Three hundred and forty-four, actually." He said grudgingly. "But I don't feel a day older than 78."

"...How?"

"I drank the immortality elixir." Roshi said casually. He looked up from his food at the shocked faces of his student and his wife, and began to laugh. "What? It's true!"

"But... you died before?"

"It makes me stop getting older, doesn't stop mortal wounds or lethal techniques." He frowned, looking upwards, trying to bring up an old memory. "I don't think that old fountain's still around though."

"Well, that's a shame." Krillin said, before going back to his food. 

18's eyes widened even more than at the shock that Roshi had drank from the fountain of youth. "Y-you're not interested in it at all Krillin?" She asked. 

Krillin raised an eyebrow. "Why would I?"

18 blushed slightly, but began to get angry. "So that you and Marron could stay with me!"

"What do you mean?" the shorter man asked, putting down his food once he realized how serious 18 was. 

"I'm immortal, the same way Roshi is, at least." the cyborg said. She gestured to her own body in its entirety. "This, this is me, forever. Until I'm forcefully taken apart, or blasted away by some future monster."

"I... didn't know." Krillin said, surprised. "You're both immortal?"

"I guess so." Roshi said, turning to 18 and smiling. "Well, when Krillin does kick the bucket for the last time, do know that I'll still be around to comfort you Eightee-" he was casually thrown out the window by the cyborg, who kept her gaze focused on Krillin and Marron. 

"Well... what do we want to do about it?" Krillin asked. "I mean, we have the dragon balls. We could go about it a few ways... we could wish for you to become mortal-"

18 shook her head. "No. Remember, the dragon can't do anything about my modifications."

Krillin nodded, remembering the first time he admitted he was in love with her, when he wished for the explosives inside her to disappear. "Well, then there are three other ways we could go about it: first, me and Marron could become immortal too... though we should probably wait until she's quite a bit older before asking her. She has a right to decide her own mortality... though I suppose she could always just ask the dragon to take away her immortality afterwards..." Krillin frowned. "Or we could do nothing, and simply live out our lives like we have been. I mean, it's not like you'll be alone, a hundred years from now, Roshi and Piccolo and your brother would all still be here."

"But you wouldn't!" 18 said angrily. "Krillin, why aren't you jumping at the chance for this?"

Krillin looked nervously down back at his plate, before forming a sad smile. "I don't know... I just... This'll sound pretty stupid."

18 nodded to him. "Go on."

Marron nodded vigorously as well, "Go on Daddy, go on!"

"Well... I've always dreamed of becoming an old man like Roshi..."

18 couldn't stop herself and broke into a goofy smile, laughing, before realizing it and calming herself down, blushing at her own outburst. "...you want to be like that old lech?"

"No, no, I mean, kind of? I don't mean the pervert part, but I've always dreamed of being a teacher, getting called "Master", living in some remote place and taking on students to continue my legacy."

18 looked to the side, considering it. "In that fantasy of yours, did you ever get married?"

"Heh, not exactly, no."

18 nodded. She looked at Marron, and smiled, the little girl smiled back, not truly understanding the meaning of the conversation. Roshi climbed back in, rubbing the sea water from his body. "Okay, that time you went a little too far, 18." The old man scolded. "Tossed out of my own house into the ocean."

She smiled slightly at her husband, getting up and phasing behind him. "...Then maybe we should wait a few years before we consider it."

"Heh, if worse comes to worse and I dawdle too long, I could just ask to be returned to my prime before hand, and then wait a year." Krillin said good-naturedly. 

18 bent down and kissed the top of his head, and then did the same for Marron before heading upstairs. "...Sure."


	2. Member of the family

"A cell phone, you know."

"Why the hell would I need a cell phone? We can all talk telepathically."

" _I_ can't.Come on, it'll be fun Piccolo."

The namekian sighed, allowing himself to be dragged across the mall. It was already a little disturbing, as opposed to his usual isolation, the amount of people packed into one place was ridiculous. "I just don't see the point."

"Come on." Chi Chi urged. "By now you're one of the family. Gohan has one, and let me tell you, it's much easier to get a hold of him now. Not to mention his girlfriend." She smirked. 

"But what does that have to do with me?!"

The woman sighed tiredly. "I'm just trying to do something nice for you, so that we can stay in touch. You go out into the desert for weeks at a time. The boys miss you."

Piccolo rolled his eyes. "The boys, eh? Well, after the nonsense they pulled with Buu, I want a nice, long vacation away from them."

Chi Chi sighed, but continued making her way to the right store, Piccolo in tow. "What about Gohan? It's been ages since the two of you got together."

Piccolo considered it. "He's been... busy, lately, hasn't he?" The former king of demons frowned. "I remember how much pressure you put on his schooling. In between the massive threats to the Earth and all."

"Yeah, he'll be starting university soon!" She said proudly. "He's well on his way to being a scholar."

Piccolo grunted in response as they entered the store. 

Chi Chi smiled, pushing the large alien forward. "Well, go on, pick one."

"I uh, don't have any money."

"Relax, It's on me. Well, on Mister Satan, I suppose. After all, this is just as much for my benefit as yours."

"Oh?" Piccolo asked, raising a hairless eyebrow. 

Chi Chi nodded. "I won't tell you how difficult it is to find a baby-sitter all the way up on Mount Paozu."

"B-Baby sitter?!" Piccolo snarled, shocked. "I thought you just wanted to keep in contact more!"

"Oh come on, it's not like you aren't good with the kids. Gohan looks at you like a second father, and Goten and Trunks speak of you so fondly."

Piccolo felt a little bit of pride at being referred to as a 'second father'. "...Fine. It's the least I can do."

He picked a green one. 

 


	3. Downtime

"Vegeta, I'm bored." The largest of the three said, reclining in his chair.

"Well, too @#$%ing bad." The prince said, in a bored tone of voice himself, punching the steel wall in front of him over and over.

Raditz was watching the smallest Saiyan as he went through the repetitive exercise. "How mad do you think Freeza would be if we just up and left for a while?"

Vegeta missed his punch in surprise, making the dent from the controlled punches become massive, ruining the exercise. "What?! He'd kill us."

"Not if we only went for a short time! Er- I mean, I'm sorry Vegeta. For bringing it up."

"...No. Continue do you have a plan?"

"Well, he lets the executives have little vacations, right? And we're not on a mission right now. It's not like we're skipping work."

Vegeta considered it, narrowing his eyes. "... Freeza's not to be trifled with Raditz."

"I know, Sir." Raditz said hesitantly. "But, on just the other side of the system there's a civvy planet. One of the ones Appule's group cleared out a few decades ago, and the buyers have built their own civilization on it. It'd be twenty minutes away by pod."

"Freeza would have our heads if he knew we were killing members of a potential buyer race." Nappa said, growling.

"Who said we would be killing anything?" Raditz asked, genuinely surprised. "I just thought, if we're bored, and there's nothing but training facilities here... why not just walk around, see what the little weirdos have to offer?"

"What... Like tourists?!" Nappa growled. "The Saiyan Elite are not tourists!"

Raditz shrunk back, looking away. "It was just an idea."

"We're not paid to think." Nappa said derisively. 

"We're not paid to sit in this blank room doing nothing, either." Vegeta commented. "Come on, let's play tourist. We'll be back by tomorrow if Freeza needs anything from us."

"Wh-really Vegeta?"

"Sure, weakling. Maybe you do come up with something half-intelligent sometimes."

Nappa blushed slightly in embarrassment. "We're not really just going to... walk around? Buy things? What do tourists even do, beside look stupid and take pictures?"

Raditz seemed to glow with a new idea, something that would convince his other Superior. "We could try out the local delicacies."

The larger Saiyan blinked, processing it. "...Yeah! Let's go!" He said excitedly, getting up and making for the door. 

Vegeta shook his head in shame at Nappa's simple-mindedness, but smirked after Nappa got out of view. 

It would be entertaining, at the very least.


	4. May 9th

The cell phone rang. Piccolo wasn't exactly startled by it, per se, but he was drawn out of his meditation, checking himself wildly for where he put it. A quick energy check told him that no one he knew was in trouble at the moment, so it couldn't be that much of an emergency. He slid the bar on the small device and frowned at the small written message left for him. 

"Happy piccolo day" he read out loud, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Krillin had left him the text. The bald monk didn't contact him often, or at least, not nearly as often as the Son household or the Briefs, but this was strange. 

He called him and waited for the line to pick up. 

"Happy Piccolo Day piccolo!" Krillin said happily, as soon as he picked up. 

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Heh. Don't you remember? Its May 9th."

"What? What's special about May 9th."

"Come on! You don't remember?"

"Should I?" Piccolo would have continued asking, angrier and angrier, and Krillin would have likely continued dodging the question, getting more and more amused, when his phone told him that Gohan was calling. He switched over without a word, hanging up on Krillin before the man could answer. "Gohan do you-"

"Happy birthday mister Piccolo!" Rang four voices, and Piccolo blinked. 

"What? First 'piccolo day', now 'birthday'- What's so special about today?!"

"It's May 9th!" As if that answered anything.

"So I've been told." Piccolo growled out.

"Don't you remember?" Goku asked.

"No, it seems I don't! What the hell is May 9th-" Bulma was calling him, now. He sighed. "Gohan, just a second, Bulma's calling. Probably to be just as baffling as the rest of you."

He answered the final call, just daring Bulma to start with the words- "Piccolo, you need to come to my house quick!" Was the text.

"What happened?" he wrote back.

"Never mind that! Just get here quick!"

Piccolo sensed as the other fighters close to and above his level on Earth were heading for Bulma's too. Was it something they sensed but he didn't? Well, there was no time. This might be important. He was the farthest away currently, with Goku instant-transporting himself and Gohan to the Brief's facility.

He flew after them, beginning to get worried. Their powers had all gone very low, very quickly. At this range, he could no longer sense any of them. He began to get frightened. Something couldn't have come this quickly, could it? And right after all this nonsense with Gods and Buus.

He arrived close to Capsule Corp, and noted with relief that everyone was there, just with their power levels as low as possible. What could have happened? The yard outside was empty, the facility silent. He slowly and cautiously levitated down to the ground. He entered the doorway, and made his way into the building. Everyone he knew seemed to be there, in the center, keeping their powers suppressed. He was truly distressed now. 

As he came upon the doorway, he heard, with his Namekian abilities, people muttering and moving, and, as he approached the correct room, he heard them go mostly silent. He could hear their heart beats though, and though they weren't frightened, they were focused. 

He heard Goku whisper "now". 

And then all of a sudden, a deep, malevolent, eerily creepy voice rang out through the audio system to the entire building. 

" _ **I know that all of you share my enthusiasm. Because it is a privilege and honor to be a part of this event. Heh. You're gonna *love* this. Your planet, heh, MY planet, is divided into 43 sectors. Each represented by a piece of paper placed in this box. To commemorate the anniversary of my rule, I declare this day, May Ninth, Piccolo** **day** -_"

"YOU ASSHOLES". Piccolo roared, sending a blast at the nearest speaker as it continued to spout his father's words. 

"Hey, it was just a joke- " Krillin said, nervously.

"It was going to be a birthday party for you-" Bulma began explaining, before Piccolo began storming off, flashing his middle finger at everyone in the room. He shot out of the building and towards the desert, masking his energy. 

"I think I'm going to go after him." Gohan said, as the rest of the guests were a mixture of laughing amusement, nervous gulping, and a feeling of awkwardness that comes when a joke backfires. 


End file.
